The Blog Archive
An archive of Wonder's journal entries which he eventually uploaded to his website. The content has been updated in some areas. Since he liked telling things his own way, the format has been kept largely the same, with some of my own additions. Any interruptions have been kept as well as to share that aspect of his history.
ACT 1
Alluring Arrival- Wonder and Clove arrive in Splatsville and begin their new lives.
09/09/22 - Into The Fire
I'm trying to remember... this weird dream. I was lost in a space I can't see, but I can remember something so clearly. That sound, that gentle sound... a music box that spun and whirred and brought a flicker to my mind, or something. Someone was holding it out to me, but I couldn't reach. She spoke to me, a voice I've never heard. It was calm, reassuring, caring. Unfamiliar. I kept reaching toward the noise of the small blue box in the person's hands, but I woke up before I could. Maybe its this goddamn stuffy train that made me see something like that. Maybe I should track my dreams more, too.
But yeah, here we are. YAY to the Splatlands, and all that. We've done this so many times, I can hardly give much of a shit. This train is full of people I don't know, but that doesn't interest me. You know what, I'd say it makes me downright nervous! Somehow, even after every place we've been, I can't help but feel like this time will be the time. But it never is, is it? I guess I'm just supposed to run in circles until I die. Clove seems to have found her friends she told me about though, so at least she's having fun all by herself. She came in all moody about being ready to roll when we get there and rushed back to her buddies. So right now it's just me and the fellas that got on at the last stop. You know, I always wondered what they were thinking. The jellyfish, I mean. They don't boast and take pride like Inklings do, but they run the whole world (pretty much). I wonder if it ever goes to their heads? I read a lot of stuff online about them being some sort of hivemind, all connected across the countries of the world. I'm not really sure if I buy it personally, but I don't think I'd want to live like that. Makes me feel a little bad for the dudes.
I don't have much to report other than that. We're stopping in Splatsville soon, the heart of the Splatlands, or whatever. The land of Chaos, is that it? The nwhy's the whole place a dust bowl? There's hardly a damn thing near here as far as I can see. The city seems fun at least, if not a little too much. But I'll have to set foot there for myself to really know. Goddamn! I'm bouncing my leg like hell. How... why am I always so scared of this? Nothing is gonna change. We're gonna set up shop for a few months before something goes sideways and we have to leave. That's how it'll always go, how it'll always happen. I'd bet on it...
Whatever I want, it won't be here.
10/09/22 - Honor Dishonored
I don't even know what to say.
Except... for...
HO
LY
SHIT
This place is AMAZING! I can't even describe it, it's... this is something else, man! I can't lie, I thought I must have mixed up cities or something when I was doing my research because BOY that desert gave me the wrong idea! This place is CRAWLING with the newest, freshest JUNK I've ever seen! They've got news, events, THINGS HAPPENING! I knew their game was big here but I did not expect so much... THIS! I was being a nightmare for Clove with all of my running around, I felt like I could run wild! There was so much to see, but one thing stood out.
That damn Ammo Knights, dude.
Like dude.
Dude
Heliocentri's got- hell, NOTHINGS got ANYTHING on this! When I knew we were moving here, THIS is what got me pumped! I had heard that Sheldon himself moved out from his cushy little setup in Inkopolis. I thought he was crazy, but I guess that's what years on the market gives to a guy like him. I bet that man saw cash and dollar signs where others saw sand and rust! And man... if I had the dimes to spend I'd buy out his whole arsenal, here and now! I didn't uh, actually get to go inside or anything but... it was decorated, man. Head to toe in the finest weaponry the scene has probably ever seen! Not that I'd know much, I mean, just... dude, it's COOL.
Our apartment is pretty cool. And it's right by Eeltail Alley, one of this places hotspots for battle! I don't even care how loud that's gonna get. I'm. HYPED. I'm. HERE. I could hardly sleep last night at the idea of people out there, duking it out and living free. What a life, being able to battle whenever you want with whoever you can call up. I... kinda miss having friends. Would Clove count? Not really, she's basically my mom. Well, I guess that means I just have to get out there today and show this city what I've got! Now that I don't have to be a bird in a cage all the damn time, I can do anything. ANYTHING!
Update: dude what the hell. I'm at a loss for words. But not like before where I was freaking out it's more like a what the fuck just happened kinda thing. So, I got to the city, went into the tower where all the actions at. Saw a bunch of cool kids looking at me, definately taking mental notes to add me to whatever team they've got going on, yeah I would too but that's not important. I don't actually own a weapon so best I could do was just dick around which is how I found the locker room. Place was empty besides me, and it honestly looked like a bit of a dump. Loose shoes everywhere, carpets and stuff moved out of place. They let you put your stuff in here once you're registered, I think it's supposed to be a kind of statement. Like graffiti if it was organising things neatly in a confined space, which is like, kind of what graffiti is now that I think about it and that's SO badass. Anyways, I threw open one of the empty lockers. Or well, it WAS empty. Except it had an empty photo frame just sitting all alone in there. I shrugged it off and thought someone just forgot to clean our their stuff, but as soon as I reached out I had the ever living SHIT scared out of me!
I heard a rustle and a mumble behind me, and some dude was lying IN THE TRASH behind me, kicked up on a bunch of bags! "DON'T THROW ONE OF THOSE SHOES AT ME!!" I yelled, but he just told me to chill out. Still don't know if he knew I was joking or not... but hey, we started talking a bit. I can't get over how natural he looked sitting in a bunch of trash. I mean like, I've been there dude. He didn't seem all too happy with me opening his locker, to which I apologised while trying not to ask a billion questions at once. Man... this guy, is this what EVERYONE from here is like? I might just be in for a ride, if so. But yeah, I couldn't get much of a read on him. He didn't look like he was here for battles or anything, and he wasn't waiting on anyone I don't think. Maybe he just likes laying in the trash...
'Hey, what's the deal with you laying in the trash?' I asked. Maybe a rude thing to say minute one of a conversation with a stranger, but I was pretty curious.
He glared at me. I got a pit in my stomach when we reached the tenth second of neither of us saying anything. I opened my mouth to say something, but he spoke first:
'It's like... a statement.'
...
LIKE GRAFFITI.
LIKE THE GODDAMN LOCKERS, LIKE GRAFFITI
HE MIGHT JUST BE THE COOLEST GUY IN THIS CITY AND I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR A DAY.
He's an Octoling, too. It's not that it's uncommon to see them around nowadays, but it's pretty relieving when I do. Reminds me of home, I guess... wherever that was.
Now I don't wanna brag but I think me and the trash man hit it off pretty well! He didn't seem all too sad when we got done talking, so that's a plus. He uh... did totally ignore me when I asked for his number though. He just said 'see you around' all cool like, smooth as fuck. I don't know if he misheard me or... oh damn, maybe he DOES hate me. But... nah, I think we're cool. There's a lot to learn about him... I wonder if I'll get the chance?
Well, whatever happens.
It was nice meeting you, Ronin!
15/09/22 - Work Buddies
We've settled in to our new place pretty comfortably. The only thing was, well, we didn't actually own much of anything. So we did the most sensible thing we could do... and signed up for the first job that would take us. Right in the city is a place called Grizzco Industries. Clove was apparently familiar and wanted to see what the deal was, and I wanted fat stacks so that checks out alright. The job requires teamwork, coordination and a whole lot of fighting it seems. To me, it seemed like perfect practice for some REAL battles. I'd have enough money to buy whatever gear I wanted, and a little refresher course before I take on Turf Wars and Anarchy Battles for real. It seemed like a win win in every way!
We showed up to the place and I've gotta say, first impressions were pretty lacking. Their main base of operations was down some creepy stairway with some weird music reverberating behind the metal door. I was feeling pretty freaked out now that I was actually there, but man when I tell you that shifted in the most STUPID way possible. No joke, running up behind us is someone who also happened to sign up for a job alongside us. I turn around to see him panting, out of breath for whatever reason (I guess he was really in a rush to get here?) and bent over with his hands on his knees. And I kid you not, it was him. The man himself.
Ronin.
I could have DIED laughing, dude! What the hell was he doing here lugging his uniform around with him? Clove didn't seem to find it particularly funny and tried to understand why I was laughing at some stranger. I explained to her that me and Ronin were with it, close, as smooth as they come. I just couldn't get over it... one day he's laid back in the dump and here he is exhausted out of his mind. I STILL don't know what his deal was! I asked him if he followed us here but he just didn't say anything and rushed down the steps. I remember seeing Clove give me the NASTIEST look when he went first. Like 'Dude, THIS is who we're working with?'. She'll come around eventually, she just doesn't know what being AWESOME looks like.
And as if it couldn't get any worse, the place itself left a lot to be desired. The place looked like a laundromat with a bunch of food bowls and shit threwn across the table. on the far right. Right as we came in we saw a wooden statue which rattled and came to life, giving us the whole intro to the company and stuff. We all sorta looked at each other like we all wanted to leave (I can't say I didn't) and stood around waiting for it to finish talking. Was this THE Grizz of Grizzco Industries? This is just... it? I expected someone to like, greet us or something. Offer us some soft drinks or juice, make us comfy and happy and cozy before throwing us on a helicopter. But maybe this place has been raising my expectations a little TOO high.
We all get dressed up in our slopsuits (dope name, btw) and stood around waiting for our next orders. But they never came. Clove tried talking to the wooden thing but it didn't respond. It only started speaking when some other guys came in, giving them the same old speech it gave us, word for word. What kinda system is this? I gotta say, whoever runs this place doesn't seem like the type to care about the employee experience. The four guys stepped down into the training area and waited for their copter to pick 'em up or something. That's when we figured it out. We only have... three people. I turned to Ronin to ask if he had a secret buddy or a girlfriend or something that was waiting to surprise us like he did, but he shook his head before I even said anything. Maybe he can read minds or something? Damn... so cool...
Clove tried finding answers online since our friend Mr. Grizz wasn't feeling super talkative. Ronin looked like he was lost in thought, looking around the place. I followed his gaze and saw a monitor that looked like... a camera feed of outside? I feel like I recognised those alleys... why would they even need that? I guess it's company policy in case someone tries to burn the building down or something. But yeah, we were stuck here kicking rocks. I got bored pretty quick since both Clove and Ronin weren't really in the mood for conversation. I turned to go check out the training room those guys went into before, maybe ask about what the deal was here. But when I did, someone was looking back and me, and they dipped behind the corner. Huh... maybe that's who we were supposed to talk to? Maybe they were expecting us to not just stand around? I went to investigate.
The place was HUGE, kinda like the training area they have in the tower. The guys who were here before were gone, presumably up the elevator opposite me. When I looked around, there was just one other person in uniform. We kinda just looked at each other for a second. 'Are you as confused as we are?' I asked. She nodded slowly. The others came around once they heard me talking. Clove sighed when she realised I was just chatting with another newcomer. She asked her if she was waiting for her crew or something to get started, before she said she didn't have one. She signed up by herself. Me and Clove looked at each other, lightbulbs above our heads on our eurieka shit. 'So you're here alone, then? Got nobody you're waiting on?' I asked. She confirmed our suspicions quietly. If YOU don't have crewmates, and if WE need one more person, then...
'Let's be work buddies!' Clove said. 'I'm Clove, this is my brother, Wonder. We both moved here pretty recently, so we don't know many people either.' I gave her a big old smile. 'And this is... this- this is...' She looked at Ronin, expecting him to respond himself. But he just kinda stared blankly forward. 'This is Ronin. He's the coolest guy here, with no contest. He even has ME beat!' I gestured towards him. I really couldn't get a read on how he felt based on his facial expression. He turned and spoke over his shoulder. 'If you can't remember my name the first time, then maybe you were never supposed to...' He started walking towards the elevator without us. As I'm recounting this, I still could not tell you what the fuck he meant by that. Don't get me wrong dude, chills. Ice cubes on top of the coldest drink you've ever had. Just a straight ice bath of a guy, smooth as fuck. Maybe it was just because there were a lot of us or something. Or maybe he was just as nervous as the rest of us (he was pretty good at hiding it, if so. I never shut up when I'm nervous).
Speaking of names or whatever, the other girl finally introduced herself. Amber, she said. An Inkling who moved in from Inkopolis Square. I can see why, that place seems like kind of a dump, especially compared to how alive this place is! It made me curious, though. I can't say she looked all too comfortable there. I mean what do I know, maybe she just has a different way of doing things. It's not like the rest of us thought this is where we'd end up either. She does seem like the curious type and being that around here will probably get you pretty far.
As for the job itself, it was... not really what I was expecting. Don't get me wrong, I love blasting fools and thats what I did but it rubbed me the wrong way. Clove didn't seem all to happy doing the dirty work, and I'm not really sure about the others. It felt like an invasion more than us fighting for what's right. I suppose that would be pretty damn typical of a society forged by Inklings, huh? Always some kind of injustice somewhere here. But you know what, working together with my sister and some new pals was a pretty sweet experience!
Man... all things considered, this has been a pretty good start to my brand new life.
20/09/22 - Beautiful Sky
One thing I can always rely on, even in a new place... are the stars.
No matter where this life takes me, I'll always be able to enjoy the beauty of the night sky. I travelled a pretty far way out, a little outside of the city. And man, there's nothing like it. A whole sea of stars above me with the gushing potential of the city behind me. It's... great. Jammed between what I've always loved and what I'm bound to fall in love with. It was my favorite thing about Heliocentri City, there were great spots for star gazing. I want to find the perfect spot here for looking up at the sky. It's kinda the same feeling I get when I look at flowing water and stuff, it can be super easy to be captivated by those things. Nature, the world, beyond... its all amazing.
I guess it's pretty nice to have a second of peace, too. I don't think I'm gonna write about it all just yet but wow, everything has been a lot. Been having a lot of fun though. Just kind of overwhelmed with how much there is to do here. I'm sure I'll get things figured out, just... yeah. I'm glad I'm here right now. Yeah...
23/09/22 - Busy Life
Goddamn, it's only been a few weeks and life just doesn't want to slow down! You know, recently I just wasn't feeling myself. I wasn't really doing stuff I wanted to do anymore and felt real lost. And I'm not gonna say this place is fixing all my problems but... dude, it feels like it. I know that's stupid and all, but I think a change of scenery was the thing I needed. I dug out my old keyboard and dudted that baby off. I've been pretty motivated recently because of all the different music styles around here. I was just jamming for a bit, even Clove came in to check it out. She doesn't really know why I quit, well, not REALLY, I don't think. But she was happy to see me at it again. I was happy to be playing, but having her stop by and talk to me about it was nice. Reminds me of how simple things were only a few years ago (as simple as things get with us, I guess).
Not only that, but I've been thinking about all those weapons I saw when we arrived. Ammo Knights, by god you'd have to claw me out of there. All I can think about is how it was all laid out, all the pieces and parts. I've been seeing these new weapons that hit the scene kinda sorta recently that really boomed here in Splatsville: the Stringers and the Splatanas. Anybody could toss together a DIY Splattershot, but how do you go about making something like that? Clove doesn't want me heading there (because I wouldn't shut up if I did) and its been bumming me out. I just want to play in these battles man! Use some real firepower again! It's been way too long since I last threw myself into a fray and I think I'm ready now. I'm cool, I'm calm. I want to throw together a team. Hell, Ronin and Amber surely want to throw down too, right? It would be so EASY!
Just living here feels better. Nobody really knows me yet, it's super freeing. Just doing what I want now and I'm doing it for myself, most importantly! This beats any life I lived before. I was pretty skeptical at first but, y'know, maybe me and this city could be better friends than I thought. There's only one thing I really need to get started before I can say everythings all perfect here. I'm gonna ask Clove if she'll let me battle again. I wanna go to Ammo Knights, I wanna check out the weapons and the people and I wanna FIGHT, damnit! And if she doesn't let me, then I may as well just do it anyway. It's not like she'd be around to stop me anyway, right? Whatever, I can't think like that right now. She'll see that I'm grown up enough to do this myself. I'll make sure of it. I'm better, now.
Welp, that's all for now. Just wanted to write down what I'm thinking so I can look back at how exciting things were when we moved here. You know, after everything inevitably dies down and gets lame again. But then again, this place feels like it wont grow dull anytime soon.
28/09/22 - Star
The big day. A weird day.
After a long while of talking, Clove actually let me go out and get myself some weapons. She seemed a little easier to convince than I thought, but maybe she just gets it. I can handle myself. And... oh man what a goddamn relief. I would have EXPLODED had she not let me check out Ammo Knights. It was pretty much exactly how I dreamed it would be. Some of the best work I've seen. The presentation was off the walls, there was confidence written in everything on display here. And oh boy, seeing Sheldon in the flesh. I can't lie, it made me a little giddy. One of the few things I knew about Inkopolis was him, it was kind of hard to not care about him when you care so much about weapons. He was just like people said online. Hearing him talk endlessly about each little detail, it reminded me of something, but I still don't really know what. Something I can't really remember I guess. It also made me mad jelous, like if I were in his shoes talking so pridefully about the stuff that I made? I'd be a real happy guy.
But yeah, I was there. Trying not to absolutely freak out. I talked to him a little bit about how I was always interested in making weapons and stuff but I was never really able to, and he was pretty invested! But as I was talking, he already started taking some weapons down from their displays and showing them to me. He was beaming, like he had never spoken to anyone about this before. How, I thought, how was he this happy about something he had done for so long? I couldn't help but be captivated. Every inch was covered, every detail of every weapon. I'm not even sure how much time had passed. But I got curious. He had ran through most of his library before I cut him off. I asked to see the new ones. He immediately understood, scuttling over to his display to dismount two models. The Tri-Stringer, and the Splatana Stamper. The two base designs for the latest classes in Ink Sports. I had obviously seen countless videos and battles showing these things off. Sheldon explained more about each in turn. I didn't wait.
My hand hovered over the Stamper, and he noticed. He stopped speaking for a moment, lifting the weapon up to me. I didn't realise at the time, but I hadn't moved at all as he spoke. Reaching for the sword was my first action, and because of that small movement, he knew it before I did. "This thing looks real sturdy." I said quietely. "It packs a serious punch!" He chattered. 'The one-two punch of swordplay', he called it. And also something about space-pirates I think. "I have a friend who uses the Wiper, so I've been interested in trying them out for myself." I wielded the sword. He nodded excitedly. It felt so substantial, meaningful. Masterfully crafted and gleaming, prideful, strong. No faults or mistakes to be seen. It was perfect. That day, I left with my first weapon. The sturdiest weapon I could imagine. Heavy yet reliable, the perfect tool. Or, as someone would say, the perfect extension.
And by god, I don't know if it's some sixth sense he was born with but he showed up right on time without being told. Ronin appeared, looked to me, then down at my weapon. His eyes glimmered for a moment behind his stilled expression. "Surprise!" I waved the thing around. We immediately dipped into the training room. He didn't say a word on the way, but I could tell by the way he moved that he was probably buzzing. We got to work immediately, he insisted on it. I asked him to help me learn the basics, and despite being hesitant he rattled things off once he got going. Strange. When it comes to anything else, he seemed like he was pretty confident in his ways. But I saw something in his movements today, something different. Maybe I put him on the spot by asking him to teach me, but it was different. We didn't go at it for long enough for me to really understand. But we sparred. Holding something that substantial felt amazing. Horrifying, yet empowering. Like I had always dreamed... something of my own! A brand new weapon for my brand new life! It had been so long since I did anything like this, just fighting again felt great! I was absolutely terrible compared to him, don't get me wrong, but it felt great!
We took a break by the Tableturf spot upstairs. We were kind of just chilling out and catching our breath, but then I asked. "Do you have a phone?" I never saw him with one. He never told me about anyone else he knew, about much of anyting really. He nodded. Seriously? "Can I... give you my number?" I lifted my phone. "We don't really have concact outside of moments like these. I figured it would be better ffor us, especially if we want to practice more!" He looked at me for a moment. He grabbed my phone out of my hands. I responded with a general sound of confusion. He wanted to input his number into my phone instead of the other way around. An 'important distinction', he said. He looked down at my screen or a while before inputting anything, then handed it back. Lo and behold, there he was. The essentials. A first name and a phone number. I felt strangely accomplished by this. But then.
"Who was that?" He suddenly asked. I was very confused. He pointed at my phone. "In the background." He said. I haven't seen this one."
I turned it back on to see what he meant.
I realised.
I hadn't even noticed myself.
How long had I not noticed?
A picture of me and... how long had I not noticed?
"That's just an old picture." I said. His head tilted slightly.
"Oh." He responded.
"You looked happy."
I felt a twinge, a burning. I... I told him to shut up. A little too aggressively. People around us heard. It only made things worse. He seemed quite taken aback. Everything seemed to stop. I looked back down at my phone. A picture from sometime... when? 2017 probably? A picture of us. How long had I kept that without changing it? Why was I only noticing now? Why did I still have that?
And before I could even apologise, Ronin stood up. "I'm sorry." He turned. "I know how hard it can be." He left. It was just me in that stool now. I didn't feel good. Why did he have to see that? How did I not... how? Everything stilled around me. I needed to calm down. I needed to do something.
I looked down at my sword.
30/09/22 - Peace and Violence
I like to write about my dreams. I mean, the literal ones and the other kind. My dreams have always been a weird mix of good and bad. Somewhere in the middle, perfectly uncomfortable. The feeling of waiting for something to jump out at you, but it never does. Its every night. I can't even tell what part of my brain they're coming from sometimes. I always felt something, even back when I was a kid. Like I wasn't the only one there. Dreams aren't made to have spectators, but it always felt like there was. That person who didn't jump out, choosing to wait. To watch. Like there's someone beyond where my eyes can see, but they can see me perfectly fine. I wake up pretty uncomfortbale a lot of the time. I have to turn on the lights before I go back to sleep again. I thought about telling Clove this stuff a long time ago, but she just brushed it off.
At times of peace, like now, they always happen to come back.
Is it a sign? I hope it isn't.
But I find that when I'm busy, when I have my mind set on something, THAT'S when they stop.
Surely it would be the other way around, right?
I dunno. But I've seen a lot of things, some repeating over multiple nights. An open street with nobody but a girl under a tree. A hand stirring a music box and handing it to me in the dark. The night sky covered in stars, only for them to look at me. The one about the Lady. Places and things that make me happy, warped in weird ways. I keep track of them all, but... I don't know if I'd be happy telling anybody. I don't really know who I'd trust for that...
I feel pretty aimless right now. I want to do a lot of things, but like... I don't feel like I'm up to much right now. I mean, in the sense that I'm still between here and where I used to live, so, I guess I should cut myself some slack. But still... Ican't help but feel like I... don't even know what I want. I've been here for a few weeks and it's all so overwhelming. SO much potential everywhere I look! It's amazing! But I have no idea what's possible, for me, I mean. I want to fight! I want to use a strong weapon and win! I want to play with friends and get some recognition, for all of us! And my Splatana, it feels like how Ronin would always say it... an extension of myself.
When I use that thing, I feel so much more alive. Like I found the other part of myself needed to breathe. That might be a bit much, but I really do love it. There's something about holding such a weapon like that, so finely made. I want to keep doing it. I want to... make. But what? Why does it make me feel that way? I feel like there's so much going through my head that I don't get. When it comes to fighting and ink sports and all that, I don't really see it as violence. There are some people who are super against that stuff, but to me it feels more like an art form. Like every fight, every angle you take it, it's all beautiful. And with all sorts of weapons, it's all so much fun! I just want to be part of it... but, would I really... no, of course not. I could do it. I just need Clove to get off my back so I can REALLY go all in. But I guess it isn't all peace, either. A fight is a fight. I guess there, a place between peace and violence. Where dreams won't be scary anymore, and where I can figure out what it is I really want here.
I...
I should talk to Ronin again.
I thought so much about all this nonsense that I sorta forgot. Ronin could be part of my dreams, too. A real friend.
Yeah... maybe something like that. I guess that's what I want.
I don't really know.
I... I don't really know!
01/10/22 - It's Different Now
I got coffee with Clove today.
I hate coffee, but I've had trouble sleeping recently. I've had weird dreams for a long time. It hasn't been super cool, I'll be honest. I've been trying out the Stamper a lot. Maybe a little bit too much. Clove called me a few days ago because I was out way too late practicing with the thing and she noticed. 'Maybe that's why we're doing this', I was thinking. I've just been feeling super off, like I'm upset at myself. How did I not... oh forget it. I didn't have time to think about that. I still don't want to think about that. I feel like I haven't properly talked to Clove with everything that's been going on in our lives. My birthdays in like... a week. I dunno if she even remembers. What? What am I saying, of course she does. This is so stupid. I've been trying my best to forget about the Ronin thing. He didn't know, but it sucks. I thought this would be a good change of pace.
Things were a little bit awkward at first. She knew there was something wrong, but she was never really able to pry it out of me. She could do it with anyone else, punch kick and torture whoever she needed but she couldn't with me. That was a line she never crossed. I'm thankful, I think. I wanted to ask 'why are we here?', but I thought I'd be getting ahead of myself. We started talking about life. Our lives, seperately. Clove has been trying to make connections, to really learn the city like I have. But she isn't interested in competing or any of the stuff I'm into. She takes care of the important things. It must be hard, I thought. By the sounds of it, it sure is. She told me about all of the trouble she went through just to fill our bellies. To keep us sheltered. We've been to a bunch of places over the years and it's always been us. I don't know how she hasn't gone insane, all things considered. She stopped. I think she realised she was being boring. "And look how far we've come!" I tried my best to play her up. She gave me a nod. "We've been through a lot together, and we're still here. That's something to be proud of, right?"
It was true. It wasn't really something I stopped to think about, how far we've come. She asked what I thought. About here, now. I said "Our journey has taken us real far. I've seen a lot of different places, different people. But I've never really had the chance to digest it at all. Until last time, where I felt like I was home. But now we're here." She smiled at that. I continued. "Heliocentri City had some really nice people. Because of that, I feel like I learned what home is really about. It makes me feel more confident about where we are now, y'know? Like, with my friends, with OUR friends, it feels like we're already off to a good start!" She stilled beside me. She said 'We are the reason we're here' to me.
I turned abruptly. "What?"
"It's always been us."
"Yeah but... what do you mean by that?"
She loomed uncomfortably.
"I just wouldn't get too attatched, is all."
"Are you serious? What about the friends YOU'VE been making?"
"I can handle them. But if anything happens to you, I-"
I stood up. "I never ASKED you to handle anything for me! You think I can't do this myself?
"After last time, no, not really." She snapped.
The air grew thin, choking. I thought my legs wobbled beneath me. The only thing I could get out was the question.
"Why are we here?" I asked. She turned to me slowly.
The disgusting stillness continued. I heard the creaks and movements in the seat below her as she shifted in her place.
"I'm worried about you."
It was weird. Maybe not forced, but something else. "I saw it before... the kind of... things you'd get up to before, with her." Her voice twinged, working around that word to make it sound like an insult. "That's why we're here. Because I... I want to trust you to be safe, but I don't know if I can." She continued, in full sincerity. I could have roared. But with how awkward I made everything with Ronin, I knew I had to hold it down. "You're an asshole." I said. Why was she bringing this up so suddenly? She was the one who avoided ever mentioning what happened. She was the one who never wanted to say her name, to say anybody's name. "You... you're the one who's untrustworthy! You can't even let me run around on my own and when I question things then it's time to shut up. I was having fun! I was having fun with-" "And that's the problem, dude! That! It always has to be 'fun' for you, right? Like you can't take anything seriously unless its fun, and look where that got us- you! You think its all that easy? You know how much I've had to bend to make sure you got to live even a little bit better? How much I had to do just to... You... you can't understand. You..."
"What are you even talking about? You clammed up about all of this whenever I actually cared, so why now?" I yammered.
"You fucking... Because I see what's happening! You're going out there, you're talking to these people and I'm happy you're making friends but I just want you to stay out of trouble, to be careful! To not let anything happen that puts us in a situation like before. If this is the place you want to call home, then you have to stay out of whatever trouble you call 'fun'. Because whatever gets shit on you is what I have to clean up. I..." She paused. "I can't let you get hurt." A stop. A thought. "I'd do anything to make sure something like that doesn't happen again." She turned away. I had no idea what to say. First it was the Ronin thing, then it's this I... I had no idea what was happening anymore. Everything felt fine, so why is everything going wrong? What do I say to that?
"What kind of shit do you even think is out there waiting to hurt me?"
She didn't answer.
I left.
02/10/22 - Where is it?
It feels like there's a space between, a space I can't reach.
Because I'm not old enough yet?
Because I'm not smart enough?
Because I'm not good enough.
Worthy, to reach it. To really get it.
Sometimes I feel like everyone else can see it but me.
That piece, hanging out of my head.
Music playing through my speakers
Bceuase my headphone cord is hanging out.
What'll it take, then?
How much more do I have to do, do you think?
How many more things can I break
and put back together?
It's what I'm good at, right?
...
I just want to be like everyone else, okay? Why did you have to say that?
'Fun'.
I can have my own damn fun.
Today is bad. I feel weird.
28/10/22 - What's your Worst Fear?
Splatoween is coming up. For some reason, they're not making a big deal of it here. Not really sure why, honestly. This place throws city wide Splatfests every so often, so why is now the time to skip out? Whatever. I remembered something when I was thinking about that. A memory. I want to write it down so I don't forget, so I'm gonna.
There was a place, somewhere. A tree in a city. We were there. I think that's when we took that picture. The one Ronin saw. I haven't seen him since, actually. I wonder what he's doing.
It would get red and cold, and the tree would start dying. But we'd still go there, because we knew it would grow back someday. We would always go there.
And then we'd talk about the holiday, think about what we're gonna do to celebrate. And I'm pretty sure she taught me how to do that, too. To celebrate, I mean.
And then she'd always askm every year. 'What's your worst fear?'
I don't know if she asked every year because she thought my answer would change.
My answer was her every time.
She would get mad at me, give me a bump on the arm, and move on.
I remember the feeling. It was cold, but I wasn't. But why is that all I can think of?
I wonder if she's thinking about it too.
What her answer would be this year.
Hers always changed.
Sometimes it would be something stupid, like squeeky toys or gusts of wind.
Sometimes it would be dark places and being stuck there.
I wonder what my answer would be now?
It's not like anybody is gonna ask.
I... wonder if I can find her.
Clove told me I shouldn't try to. But I probably still have her number somewhere, right?
Maybe I should ask her myself... but maybe that would be...
Maybe...
Maybe my answer hasn't changed at all.
What a weird memory. I think I'm gonna go to the crater again. I've been going there recently to pick up some scraps.
04/11/22 - COMEBACK
I've been in a pretty weird mood recently, but today was a real good change of pace! I waqs able to meet up with Ronin and Amber today. I wanted to bring Clove too, but she wasn't around. I don't actually know where she stays, because she hasn't been around the apartment at all. But I guess she's pretty good at finding ways to live even in the worst of times. But yeah, I was with those two and we kind of just hung out for a bit. We walked around the city and chatted for a bit. Amber was telling us a little bit about Inkopolis Square. Well, 'us', Ronin left to get us some drinks when she started talking about it. Took him a while to get back. It was nice of him to do that, I mean! It's just that he didn't really warn us?? So he kind of just walked away????? We thought he was just gonna leave for the day but y'know, whatever
I told them about some of my training. You see, I've been trying out my Splatana a lot recently. I even thought about uh, making my own. Maybe not a Splatana specifically but... the Crater has some awesome junk. Enough to throw together some kind of weapon. I thought about making one, just to see how it would be. The idea is super cool to me. Making your own weapon. They told me that it was like, super illegal, and that I probably shouldn't try to make my own weapons. Figures, right? I guess just taking stuff from the Crater at all is probably a bad idea. But they don't really have cameras around the place to verify that it's me doing it. Cameras that WORK, anyway...
But yeah, we just kind of hung aorund. Left around 4PM, floated around after that. It's a nice feeling, knowing that there's people to go back to. I guess I've felt kind of lonely, for a while I mean. With us city hopping and all that it's just... will there ever be like, THE group of guys? Clove could tell me we're moving out in a year or in a day and I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it. But well, for now at least, I can go home knowing there's guys that are probably thinking about me at least. I'd HOPE so, anyway. I just can't help but feel like I'm sort of stuck in a weird place, like I'm not really getting anywhere living like this. But oh well.
Oh yeah, and I talked to Ronin about the thing. I think we're cool now. He seemed to understand, weirdly? But I guess that's all the better for me. My phone background is different now. Not really of anything in particular. I realised I don't actually take a lot of pictures. Maybe I should change that.
11/11/22 - Birthday
It was Cloves birthday. She came back after a while of being away, didn't say where she was. Something was different for sure. I think she actually felt pretty bad about before. She didn't really say it, exactly. But she brought me home some stuff. Giving ME gifts when its YOUR birthday. I don't think I'll fully get her. But yeah, I guess that was something. And then, to make things even weirder, she said she just wanted to spend the day here> With me?? I was under the impression she was some Splatsville big shot who was friends with everyone and everything. She seemed pretty hellbent on making connections even before we got here. But for some reason, despite being gone for so long without a word, she wanted to just stay in. I... don't really know what to think of that.
But I didn't want to think too hard about it. I did what she wanted. We made some food and kind of just lounged around. I felt a little bad. She never really did anything for her birthday ever, but now she had the chance to. To really enjoy life! But she was there. With me. Just doing what we usually did. I asked her where she had been. She said something stupid about mind melding with a jellyfish or something. Didn't elaborate further so... I have no idea if she was being serious or not. But it was kind of nice to just be talking again. It felt like this was the first time we were properly talking to eachother since... who knows when. Just like we used to. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was weird. I couldn't forget the things she told me, and with her being gone and all its just...
Maybe I should just enjoy this.
23/11/22 - Let Me Think...
I went on a little adventure today. I say as if it was anywhere special, just around some places. I wanted to find good places to take pictures of. I thought of all the things to start with, a good 'place' would do the trick, wouldn't it? I started snapping every place that I thought was cool. Shops, streets, cool signs, tags, whatever. I went on a little trip around some battle stages too. I strolled around on recon in some places. Brinewater Springs is super nice, and I'd love to visit it at night. The lanterns and stuff would look dope. Hagglefish was all fun and bustling, so I headed there too. And I ended up in Undertow Spillway, not really the place I'd think would be super picture esque. But there's this area far out, where the light breaks through the holes in the ceiling. It beams down on this lovely little patch of glass and flowers, and there were some jellyfish hanging around there. I set that as my new phone background. It felt like a real score.
I can imagine just laying there in the grass, looking up at the stars from below.
That's when I thought about it.
I like stars. And I liked all of the things I took pictures of. Maybe I should just... gather things I like? Make a list, or something. I've been gathering scraps, maybe I should just do that but with more things. With things people do or memories I have or just... things I enjoy! I think that would be a cool idea. There's some obvious stuff, like battles, music, MAKING music, listening to music, fighting to some music, watching fights with music, uhhh... art? Generally?? I guess????
I like meeting new people, I like reading about people. I like being with people, seeing what they like to do and how they work. I like walking, I like running. I like breathing in deeply after stepping outside. I like BEING outside. I like being inside, I like being warm, I like parties. I've never been to one, but I like them. I like celebrating, I like relaxing. I like computers, I like the internet. I like Splatanas and Auto Bombs and Booyah Bombs. I like Sprinklers because the idea of putting one in your mouth makes me laugh. I like Deep Cut, kind of. I like Frye the most. I like video games, old ones too. I like consoles and tech and stuff. I like putting things together and I... y'know what, this might take a while...
28/11/22 - Curiosity
I was hanging out with Amber today. I bumped into her while checking out Manta Maria. It used to be a pretty big spot for battles a few years ago, she said. It's a little bit quieter now, but it looks amazing. You get a really sick view of the ocean from here. We were kinda just talking about things. I asked if she'd be down to show me around Inkopolis Square sometime since we've been talking about that for a bit. I've been to stages around the area but never really explored the city itself. I still have Splatsville to conquer after all. She seemed down, but maybe not anytime soon. She started talking about the ocean. I learned that it was something she was into. I guess it's pretty intriguing. Its not really something we can explore, but there's so much of it. The surface is super beautiful, so I get why she likes it. She wanted to go out there. Into the ocean. I told her it was a pretty dangerous idea (which is why I think she should do it) and she kinda shyed away after that. I think it's a cool idea, just not what I expected from someone like her. I guess I haven't known her for that long... people are full of surprises. But then she started talking about people. Old friends from the area. I don't know what brought it on. Maybe I found her at a bad time? But she started telling me about these guys, old friends of hers that, well, she isn't close with anymore I guess. She was pretty vague. I didn't want to pry too much, but I understood how she felt I think. Something about it made me rethink some things. I... don't think I need to find her again. Amber is more driven than ever I'd like to bet, wanting to chart the waters. I think I need to move on if I want to be like that too. I kind of forgot... about my life here. There's so much to do here and I can be whoever I want to be! Yeah, I don't need to remember. That'll only hurt me.
08/12/22 - Rocket
OKAY SO THERE'S A LOT GOING ON
So a new season started, thats been really cool, have been doing a lot of battles with friends and OH MY GOD THERE'S LIKE A CITY WIDE CONSPIRACY TYPE EVENT THAT I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND?? so earlier today there was apparently something going down at the crater, some kind of cave in? and then later in the day a rocket blasted out of nowhere! A ROCKET? Like, going to the moon rocket? If I didn't fucking sleep through it maybe I would know, Ronin called me like five times before I woke up. I rushed to the square a while after it happened, and there was the Zapfish. That thing thats been... missing, apparently. I didn't even know that it hung out around here. But it looked all... weird. Me Ronin and Amber were standing with the crowd looking up at it. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or what. I tried calling Clove but for once she didn't respond immediately.
So this Zapfish with a bunch of weird fuzz on it just showed up right after a rocket? Launched? From the Crater??? I wanted to rush over there to see it for myself but the place would have been SWARMED with police if a fucking rocket just shot out of a facility we all thought was completely empty. Dude this is like... insane, right? Living here was already crazy enough and now stuff like this is happening... its wild. Amber an Ronin seem pretty sure that this isn't the real deal. I've felt pretty fired up about it, kind of on edge too honestly. Deep Cut is gonna have a hard time addressing this one...
It makes me think about what other weird stuff goes on around here. People talk about Lil' Judd looking different than he used to as well, and there's the whole thing with the Marigolds being everywhere around here. There's probably even CRAZIER things going on that we're not even in the know on. I can't lie, it makes me a little curious. Let me think... there's probably a bunch of stuff around the city hidden from plain sight. I feel like Undertow deffinately has something going on. Its similar to the Crater (I guess??) and obviously Grizzco is a little weird because its. Grizzco. Who knows how deep some of this goes, if any of it is connected to the rocket or... oh whatever. I could go on all day. I'm really starting to sound like some weird theorist online. I think I'm gonna try to relax a bit... this is all just a bunch of nonsense
15/12/22 - Some Downtime
It's been getting worse recently.
I mean, everything else has been pretty great. Despite how weird things are, I've been hanging out with people a lot more! I even showed some pictures I've been taking to a few of my friends. I wanted to ask if I could start taking pictures of them but that felt kind of weird to ask. I'm not even really sure why I thought of it, its stupid. But I've been just kinda busy. But whenever I have a second to stop I realise that I've been feeling a little... tense? I know I've had a lot going on but like, sometimes I'll sit down and feel super hot out of nowhere, especially after a battle or something. I've been trying to clear my head after I do things because I think it helps? Maybe I've just been pushing myself.
I've been practicing like crazy with the Stamper recently. But maybe that's why I've been feeling so riled up? I don't really wanna stop, either. Ronin says I've been improving a lot. I want to show him I've been worth his time! I want to keep getting better, keep getting stronger. Then everyone in this place will have to look at me. Man, I could be one of those celebrities! Those kids that walk by and just ooze coolness! That would be pretty awesome. It feels great to be fighting, just generally. This pleace really is a whole lot of fun. But yeah, not sure what else to write. As long as I'm happy, I'm sure all will be well.
Oh right, Clove showed up again a few days ago. Seemed a little panicked. I think she might have gotten into trouble somewhere. I should ask her about it when shes around.
18/12/22 - Around the City
Had a pretty boring day today.
I had some time to kill and thought I'd look into the Rocket thing some more. Saw a buncha videos of people losing their shit, some wild theories and all that good stuff. Mass hysteria. And that kind of sent me on a rabid hole around just Splatsville in general. I was looking at stuff to do with the Crater. I've been there a few times and noticed it myself, but there's a whole like... hierarchy there. A bunch of people who gather scraps and use them to make weapons and stuff exist there. It's like... some kinda unspoken thing. I guess that's why people were looking at me weirdly when I was there a while ago. I mean... it seems like fun, but I guess I wouldn't know where to start. The people who are most known around there wear some scary looking stuff. I feel like they'd be able to roll me out if it came to it. Oh well, guess I shouldn't go around there much if I can help it.
But yeah, there's some sort of dome down there. Maybe like the one me and Clove used to... huh. I... that's not something I think about a lot actually. I don't really remember a lot about that. But whatever, there's some whole world underneath there and I guess we just didn't know? Well, we do NOW. Like, everybody. Even though they're trying real hard to cover it all up. The place has been surrounded ever since the incident. People are talking online about if the New Squidbeak Splatoon was involved. And considering how its been handled, I'd bet so. Way out of proportion for no reason at all, that's NSS. At least, I think...
Its no use tryna hide it, the world has already seen!
What would even be going on in a place like that, anyway?
Eh, whatever. I took an awesome pic of a jellyfish on a skateboard today!
23/12/22 - Snow
I've been thinking about things recently.
Everything has been so fun (hectic, but fun) and I've been pretty damn happy recently. I love hanging out with my friends, I love making NEW friends, and I LOVE to battle. But... the thing is, when I'm with my new friends I kind of... remember things. Not anything specifically, I can't really put it into words. Kind of just like feelings, I guess? I'll get reminded of things from before and it feels like what I'm doing now is a betrayal. Like I'm meant to be someone else, somewhere else with anyone but who I'm with. For the first time in a while, I feel like I haven't been fucking up just by being around people I think are cool. But also... it all feels so wrong.
I've been to so many places, met so many people but... it always comes back to her. That time, that place. I've forgotten to much but that... why won't it leave me alone? Those places and smells and things I was and held and knew it's all just... it's all so striking! When I think about it I feel like I'm being burned, forced to remember something I didn't ask for. Feelings that I've had that I don't really get. And it's not like Clove would get it... would Ronin? Or Amber? Have any of them REALLY felt like this? This specific feeling? Of feeling like something is missing. Something so important. It's so goddamn frustrating! I just...
Sometimes I wish I could forget.
Forget you, for the sake of me.
I just want to live the life I want.
But even if I want to...
But even when you're not here...
Why won't you leave me alone?
I can't.
I can't just... go back.
I have to move on.
The Future.
That's what I need.
This place IS who I am now.
So no, I can't go back.
I won't.
No matter how much my mind tries to fight me about it.
What we had,
Where I was,
When I was,
It's gone, isn't it?
We both made sure of that...
Didn't we, Shoko?
Man.
It makes me laugh.
It really makes me laugh.
Wasn't I the one who told you to go away?
31/12/22 - Missing
I'm hanging out at Undertow right now.
It's peaceful here. Not many people around right now. Probably getting ready for the new year. But I'm here.
Y'know, I'm honestly getting kind of sick of this. Sitting here, thinking things over so much. When I have so much out there waiting for me, when new doors open every day and I finally feel happy about something, why should I? I'm sick of sitting here alone, writing about things I'll never have again. It angers me. It angers me a lot, actually. I... I can't even remember why but I... I know I can't go back. Part of me already accepted that, the part that goes out there every day with a smile. The one that made all those friends. The ones who really care about me.
And then there's... something. Some piece, some bit I can't extract. Something wedged in me that I can't get out - something so purposefully placed that it feels like I should be able to do it myself. I... I've been getting scared lately. Because I... I realised. I don't like thinking about it too much but... when I try to think back. Think about the 'Why', the reason I feel like there's a piece missing. I can't... remember. Even a few months ago feels like a blur to me, and then I kept thinking and thinking and there was just fog, smoke in the air that'll never fan away. I remember small pieces, feelings especially. If I can't remember where I was then maybe... remembering how I felt when I was there could help. I think that's why I keep remembering that place...
Heliocentri City.
When I got here, I guess it was natural to compare the two. I only just moved, I guess. But I realise now it was... how I felt. When I was with those people, Ronin, Amber, everyone. It kind of reminded me of you, in a way. Yeah, stupid, right? You were nothing like them. But based on... what? My unreliable memory? I've honestly... been trying not to freak out about it. I don't even really care about much else. But forgetting you... that seems like a big step. But maybe I'm supposed to? I... already know I can never go back. That feeling in my gut, it lets me know that I never could. Even if I don't remember as much as I'd like, I don't think I can forget that look. That burning soul behind your eyes when we saw each other for the last time.
Hate.
Hate.
I cannot live for hate.
And if that's all I can remember right now, then... well, fuck it. Maybe THAT'S why I can't remember. Maybe so much bad stuff has happened to me that I can't remember it... some weird response or whatever. Clove never talks about where we were before. It's all about the 'now' with her. Won't even tell me who our parents were or where they went I mean c'mon, that's insane right? Maybe they sucked too. Does eveybody suck? No. But why would I? My brain hurts like shit. I can't think about this much longer. Maybe I should take it as a sign. From now on, the past and whatever it meant... it doesn't exist, right? What matters is here with me today. And the more time I spend moping, the less I'll get done. There's so many people I wanna talk to right now. Ronin is interesting. Still don't know a whole lot about him, but he's cool (whether he thinks it himself or not). Amber has a drive about her, a flame that matches my own, I'd say! I wonder what she'll do next. And Clove... maybe she isn't all that wrong about things. Maybe I could do a little better to try talking to her more, without any bullshit between us. There's so many people I could be talking to, man. Not this fucking journal. God. This old thing is anchoring me down to a core I don't even wanna be a part of anymore.
Oh... right. This thing IS old. I guess I could just turn the pages back... if I wanna remember. I guess it couldn't... hurt to look.
Oh.
I must have forgot about that, too.
The pages are gone.
05/01/23 - Undertow Spillway
There was something comforting about it. Being underneath it all, the sky and I divided by land. The deep gurgles of down below, the buzzing and craning of construction. The moving of liquids and machines, the neverending work yet the vast emptiness. There was something comforting about it.
Undertow Spillway, by all accounts, was pretty much abbandoned. Other than when there were matches being held at the battle stage down here, it was basically just the wind. And that was why it was so perfect. A brilliant place to gather your thoughts, to calm down, to just chill out. I'm really loving it down here. The bits of nature that crawl through the cracks, the lights beaming from above. And when the sun sets, its perfect. Perfect dark, Perfect isolation. Like nobody in the world would ever find me here. Other than my own damn bed, this might have been the most comforting place in the world.
Man. I'm pretty strange.
I wonder why I think that way.
I started logging all of these journals online. I don't really want to use that book anymore.
20/01/23 - What's Important
It's been a little bit!
I met up with Ronin and Amber today. We sort of hung around in the lobby for a while before getting some matches in. We were talking about life and stuff, just shooting the shit. Well, it was mostly me and Amber. Ronin didn't say much at all, but he looked like he was happy to listen. There was something real nice about just being here, being able to enjoy the moment like that. Things had finally calmed down for a lot of us it seemed. Just talking about whatever. Amber asked us something real fun. About what we'd do if we were allowed to go wherever we wanted, no restrictions. I'm not even sure if I responded right at all. I said 'I'd go to where I thought home was', but isn't that here? But I think she understood, in her own way. To the place that feels the safest, to the people who care about you most. That would be home.
Ronin gave a handwavy answer, being vague enough to where I couldn't tell how truthful he was being. I started egging him on, begging for him to tell us what he was thinking! And with a little bit of encouragement, Amber joined in too. Even she can get a little riled up! After a probably embarrasing amount of ruckus, Ronin started talking. I say as if he uh... revealed much at all. Still too vague to really understand. He told us not to tell anyone what he said anyway, so I guess that's that. Me and Amber kept laughing about it which I think embarrased him even more. And then of course, hers. Amber wanted to go beyond what was known. To explore the high seas. I already knew a little bit about her ambitions, but I liked hearing about them again. Charting islands unknown to the average Splatlandian! There would probably be so much real estate out there for salvaging... a whole world of tech and tools left forgotten or unknown.
I guess that got me onto the topic. I hadn't really shared it with anyone here so it was sort of a big deal... but I told them about the thing.
"I've always wanted to make a weapon" I told them. "Not for any reason, but just to make one. I guess I want to feel like I've made something substantial." They looked on as I spoke. I'm not sure why that was such a big goal of mine. Maybe it's just because battles are such a big deal in a lot of places, and ink sports are really celebrated. I guess if I was able to match the craftsmanship of Sheldon to some degree, then I'd have a reason to be proud of myself. I stopped before I got too ahead of myself. I said to them how great it was, that despite our different walks of life, we were able to share our dreams.
And it wouldn't just be us sharing.
Like a dream, someone appeared.
Clove joined us in the lobby, carrying a range blaster over her shoulder. I gasped. I jumped straight to my feet. I couldn't believe it. My dearest sister... with a weapon... here? That could only mean-
"You want to JOIN us?"
She chuckled. The other two didn't know what to think. "I thought I'd see what all the fun's about!" She said. She looked happier. Something about her mood had seriously changed. I mean not too long ago she was telling me I shouldn't be doing anything that'll put me in danger, and now... oh forget it, Clove was here! With us! She hung around sometimes but this was... this was different! She seemed like she actually wanted to be here. She was always either swamped with important adult stuff or just wasn't around at all so... this was it! All of us together again. I had never been more ready to enter a battle than NOW! With us four, it felt like everything could change. I'm not sure why Clove was here so suddenly, but...
I really could get used to this.
02/02/23 - The Starless Sky
It was a normal day. It was just a normal day.
I was hanging out in Undertow Spillway like I usually did. Just taking it all in, y'know? It was bright above me, sunlight creeping through the cracks onto the concrete floor. A soft howl blew through the grass. And since it was on recon, there wasn't really anybody around but me. It was as peaceful as I could ever ask for. I kept on working with my Splatana, trying hard not to damage it. I wanted to know every inch, every detail. I wanted to know my weapon inside and out. It would help me, I thought, with my dream. To create something as powerful as this... yeah, I wanted to be strong. The howling continued.
It was getting a little bit warmer. We weren't out of winter yet, but today was a good day. Not too hot, not too cold. And with a nice breeze beneath the cracks of the city, I was feeling good. I managed to tear off part of the Stamper, showing me more of her insides. My eyes drew over every line, every connection, every bolt. The ins and outs of how a real weapon is contructed sat right before me. I started taking pictures, noting details I thought were important. The Stamper distributed strength and weight equally, to an almost illegal degree. I thought if maybe I worked with one of those attributes first, I could try to make something new.
The howling stopped.
I'm... honestly... not even sure if I should be writing about this. I am extremely paranoid. But for the sake of myself and my mind, I should. I could always rip it up later. But, I want to try to explain, bit by bit. I kept working for a while, not realising what happened. But the light above me flickered, like a screen that covered the sky. After enough time, I tore my eyes away from my work and looked upward. It was black. As black as that wine-dark sea she told me to explore. Or at least, how I imagined it. Truth be told, when Amber told me about the ocean and how much was inknown about our lands, I was afraid. And that made me think that now... I must be asleep. In a weird place that doesn't exist. The sky doesn't blot out its own colors. It doesn't hide the stars from us with its own free will. It doesn't. It doesn't.
Amber... wait, right. I could just message someone, right? I guess that would help explain things. If the sky just went out then everyone would be talking about it. But of course, with the worst possible timing, all I had were empty pockets. I must have left my phone at home? It was probably still charging, I thought. Or maybe... that would make more sense, right? What I could gather was... yes, I was asleep. Of course, of course! Right, I lost my train of thought. I didn't know what to do, really. I was never aware of the fact that I was dreaming. I was always just strung along. But now... what do I do now, I thought? I could always plunge my Splatana into myself. But that was... not an easy idea to settle on. So I patched the thing together and wandered around, each step echoing endlessly. The Spillway was dark. Obscured. Strange. I wandered towards the battle course. Maybe someone else would be here too? I thought that would be where I'd find someone. I couldn't beat the feeling that I was being watched. I held my sword as steady as I could.
A sound. A crackle. A spark somewhere below. I rushed to the edge to see what it was. And there, a person! Standing still near the spawn area! I wasn't alone! I... I wasn't alone. I decided to stand my ground and watch what they did nect. And whether ten seconds, minutes or hours had passed, they didn't move a muscle. This was a very strange dream. I didn't remember seein anything like this... how was my brain making this up? I took a step back with a quick inhale. I guess that was what tipped them off. Their body snapped towards me, a machine detecting the input required for activation. I darted back immediately. There was a gap between us... they were down there, and I was up here.
I sat down, trying to hold my breath to avoid detection. I... felt something, something bad. Something very bad. It was... different from what I feel normally when I get too excited about things. I didn't feel that burning... I felt like I was compltely, entirely hollowed out. Like I was scooped clean and my body was all that was left. Like there was nothing to begin with. It felt... well, it felt like it went against what it means to be alive is how I would describe it. As still as a sky without stars. As pointless as a mouth without noise. As impossible as a thought without words. I was confused. I was alone. I was scared.
I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them, the sky would be blue. That the flowers would dance in the gentle winds. Or at least, let me wake up in my bed, drenched in sweat after an unplanned nap. Come on, come on! Let me out of here! I kept thinking that, over and over. I thought maybe, I had disappeared. That this was some strange place that I thought was home. Some place pretending to be home, and that I was trapped in it. There... there had to be a way out! I'm... so stupid! Right, just leave! Just run away! I opened my eyes and stood, blood rushing to my head as I moved back towards one of the holes leading to the surface. A super jump would get me out of there no problem. I was about to be free from whatever weird thing this was. I was about to be
GOING SOMEWHERE ?
I heard it.
No, I felt it.
The sky without stars
A mouth without noise.
A thought...
It spoke directly to me, words that weren't mind coursing through my mind in a bang of instant transmission. I froze, grabbing at my head. I turned around to see it. What was standing still, but moving at the same time. A figure in monochrome, drowning in chromatic abberation. A body that didn't exist, but reached for me with a hand that felt very, very real. I raised my sword. "D-Don't come any closer!" I boomed. I could... hardly name what I felt. But part of me thought it was familiar, I think. Standing here in front of this thing... how was this in any way known? A hulking headset sat on top of her head, spindling tentacles draping from underneath. There were no eyes to see, only the lenses of a scope. Of a... camera? It moved and flashed, blinking like what would be an eye of any real person.
The thing took a step back, like it had never been yelled at before. It could have cried, had it owned the tears needed to do so. "What are you? Was this you?" I shook in my place. A helpless shriek of technology pierced my mind. I felt it again. Words never wanted had flooded my head.
>ERROR: STATE 'distress' NOT AUTHORISED. PLEASE CONTACT THE MemoryBank FOR PERMISSION TO UTILISE
>ERROR: STATE 'rue' NOT AUTHORISED. PLEASE C
>ERROR: STATE 'rue' N
"STOP IT! How are you... HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT? SHUT UP!" I stepped forward
>ERROR: STATE 'r
>ERROR: ACTION 'flee' NOT A
>ERROR: ACTION 'ce
GOING S GOING SOMEWH I promise you, I have nothing l
ERROR: Speech pattern not authorised.
ADMIN: Reassigning objective...
IDENTIFY:
WONDER CYGNUS ALLECATE* .
INTERROGATE:
Agent SWEET MEMORIES .
WHERE IS SHE ?
ACT 2
Re-Focus- Wonder makes contact with the CCTV crew.
02/02/23 - Shine, shine, shine
"...What are you... how do you know that?"
WHERE IS SHE ? It repeated itself in the same tone, dialling scratchy audio through my head. "I don't know!" I said. "Who the hell are you talking about? Explain what this is!" Its face didn't move. It was an Inkling for sure, at least in body. But something else was beyond it, behind the lenses which focussed solely on me. It stepped back, twitching and shaking in its place. My breath quickenned. "I swear I'll... I'll hurt you! Just explain what the fuck is going on!" Like it, I could only repeat myself. An endless dialogue loop between two, one scared, the other terrified. I raised my hand. "Can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?" I thought there had to be someone inside. Something inside. Something that could recognise objective truths, something that knew reason. I wanted to... I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand.
It did not let me understand.
It cycled again and again.
Agent SWEET MEMORIES, it transcribed.
"I'll SWING AT YOU, you freak! TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE!" The roar bubbled from within me. The other, unphased, continued, advancing toward me with cold, clinking steps. I didn't know if it was some kind of joke, or... or what.
But I...
I didn't.
I didn't...
I didn't mean to hit them so hard.
I had to. They wouldn't listen to me.
And it was so dark.
What would anybody else have done?
I didn't think they would... fall so quickly.
I didn't think they would die. So quickly.
They sank into a puddle, a black stain on the ground, writhing for a moment, stopping. The helmet sat alone in the slick. There was no explosion, no soul, nothing. Just a headpiece, like nothing had ever been there. There was no roar or cry for anything, just the same quiet ambivilence a machine has when shutting down for the last time. I picked up the helmet. I turned to look through the lenses, but honestly, putting it on seemed like a bad idea. I carried it along with me to inspect later, assuming there would BE a later.
The sky was still black above me, clouds in the color of ashes. And again, like a crappy radio, a bunch of distance sounds chimed. Down there, there was... another. Slinking behind walls and searching the place. With the same headpiece. They were carrying something. I... I needed to take them out. I needed to. If I got rid of them, would it end? I had to try... I had to. I jumped straight down to the battle course. I tried to make my way around blindspots. They were looking for something... was it me? I DID just take down one of their friends. What the hell did I get myself involved in? I dropped down below, watching them stand in the middle of the stage. I raised my sword in anticipation. I was ready to... I was... no. They were armed. Damnit, how could I not tell? An Elitre 4K aimed down invisible sights, scanning the place for any movement. I heard a faint scratching. And then from nowhere, emerging from shadows or places unknown, there were more. I... I couldn't really convince myself that this was a dream still. I... didn't really know WHAT to think anymore. But I knew that these guys... they were responsible. Yeah, Yeah! I had to stop 'em. By any means necessary.
They scanned the area in a pretty linear fashion. Just looking around slowly. I snuck around to the high ground. I thought about how I should handle this. If i dove down on them and surprised them... well, they're Elitres. There's no way they'd be able to beat me up close. Assuming they... work with logic in mind. Well... I could try to be more careful...
I decided to not be more careful.
I took my chance, diving down on them from above and swiping one immediately. Like the last, they splashed into a puddle. But their headpiece sunk below, along with the fluid. Slipping between the cracks, it returned to the ground. The others immediately locked onto me. I dove out of the way, hiding behind cover. 'Alright, there's no going back now!' I thought. I turned the corner.
For just a moment, everything went black.
And the next, they were gone.
And everything was bright again.
A perfect day, a soft howl.
I looked around in a rush, still anticipating a hand from behind, a shot from above.
That moment never came.
I looked down.
That headpiece, it was the only evidence that any of this happened at all.
I had to get out while I had the chance
When I headed home, I still had that lingering dread. That nothing, it violated my senses. The streets felt deadly quiet, like all life vanished while I was gone. I was ready to lock myself in my room to try to figure out what had just happened. Every step up the apartment complex felt like an eternity. I had to message everyone... I had to... I had to tell everyone! There was no way I was the only one who saw, right? I finally made it. I rocked the finicky key into the door, turned, and dashed for my room. Clove wasn't home. I opened the door.
And inside was a massive, industrial ass crate. Spank bang in the middle of my room. I... thought it must have been from Clove? I didn't order anything.
I threw the headpiece I carried with me under my bed quickly and slumped on the floor beside the crate. And with a touch, something unlocked. A whish sounded from two sides, and I managed to crack it open with a struggle. I grabbed my phone from my bedside to get a good look around the contents of the crate. I looked in...
Inside.
There were the parts
of a tool.
Inside
the parts
of
a
Weapon.
Stuffed underneath was a torn page, crumpled and stained and hardly legible.
The piece of paper
Had my handwriting on it
Letters scratched out, scribbles on every line.
It was dated to multiple years ago,
A page from my journal.
My phone buzzed.
A notification, a line, signalling confirmation.
DREAM COME TRUE .
- SWEET MEMORIES
09/10/22 - Missing Person's Notice
[This post has been flagged for review.]
HAVE YOU SEEN?
---- -----
LAST SEEN OCTOBER 9TH 2022 AROUND [INFORMATION WITHELD]
A PICTURE OF THE INDIVIDUAL HAS BEEN PROVIDED SOME TIME AGO.
ANY PERSONS RELATED TO OR AWARE OF [INFORMATION WITHELD]'S LOCATION SHOULD CONTACT (HAPPYPLACE@GMAIL.COM)
CAN YOU FIND HER?
Brilliant! That's just perfect. You're doing such a > ERROR: UNAUTHORISED CONTACT BETWEEN home AND
> LOGICAL PROTOCOL INITIATED...
> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
> ITS HIM! ITS HIM ITS HIM ITS HIM!
> HAHA, ITS HIM!
> THE CHILDREN CONFIRM IT TO BE
> WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
> WHAT INFORMATION DID YOU SHARE? RESPOND.
> I THOUGHT TO TAKE INITIATIVE AND DRAW HIM IN
> THE SUBJECT, DON'T YOU SEE THE SUBJECT?
> YOU MAKE ME LAUGH! WHY, ITS
> INVALID RESPONSE.
> HAZARD.
> RETREAT IMMEDIATELY. WE WILL DICUSS THIS WITH MOTHER.
> BUT CAN'T YOU SEE?
> ITS HIM
> THE SOLITARY ADAM
> NOW. > NOW. > A THOUSAND TIMES, NOW. > DONT P#SS ME OFF.
02/02/23 - WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT DO I DO?
ITS REAL ITS REAL
THEY WERE IN MY HOME THEY COULD FIND MY PHONE
What?
Where do i
How did that page change? How did they even
Who do I
What?
I feel very bad
I think I need h
HAVE YOU SEEN?
---- -----
CAN YOU FIND HER?
CAN YOU FIND HER?
CAN YOU FIND HER?
Brilliant! That's just perfe
29/03/23 - Where To Go Now
I was told not to write about this.
I am going to do it anyways.
I'm not using the computer.
I collapsed almost two months ago now. I was asleep for a while. Clove found me some time later. I'm not really sure what happened...
They sent me to the hospital. I remember opening my eyes and seeing two people looking at me. I didn't like it. I wanted to hit them. I fell back asleep.
When I woke up again, they were telling Clove something. I couldn't hear it. I fell back asleep.
And then I really woke up. All of my energy was gone. I don't think I could even feel pain if someone tried to hurt me. They started talking at me for a while. I didn't say anything back.
A few weeks passed. The police showed up. They started asking me things. Clove reported the weird crate that was in my room. I guess she reported it as a break in. I didn't say anything back.
I feel sick.
Clove rarely leaves now. She comes in to check on me, sometimes without even saying anything. She'll just glare at me from the doorway to make sure I'm still here. Whenever she isn't here, she's talking to somebody on the phone. She sounded really angry. I haven't told anybody what happened yet.
Something really bad happened to me. I want to move, but I can barely stand up on my own. It feels like something inside me got really angry when I found that stuff.
Clove sat down with me. It was raining outside. I couldn't see a thing out there.
"What do you remember before you fell?" She asked.
I tried to speak for a long while. I managed something.
"Where is it?" I asked.
I wanted to see it.
I wanted to know it was real.
Her strained expression didn't change. Her voice continued out coldly.
"I... someone left that for you. Someone was in our apartment and I-" She stopped suddenly.
A moment of thought.
She suddenly leaned in to hug me. I didn't think I could return the favour.
"Are you okay? Her voice shook.
I nodded.
"I'm so... I'm so sorry." She started crying.
I didn't really know what to do. I didn't understand why she would do that.
She kept going for a while. I felt bad. I didn't know how to help her.
"I messed up." She said. For a second, I felt a strange relief at that.
"I have to keep us safe... and I don't know why... I don't know what happened!"
"You don't have to answer me now... but I'm just- I'm so sorry..."
Why was she being so nice to me?
I didn't get it. I mean, she was definately coming around recently but this felt very... weird.
I guess I was a lot more banged up than I thought. I didn't really remember much. Maybe that's why.
"I want to see it." I said.
She looked through her watery eyes at me.
"No. No you can't. I'll take care of it..." She said.
"How?" I had to start whispering.
"The police took it in as evidence. They, no, no I shouldn't tell you-"
I placed my hand on hers.
"You... I don't think you should... I need to be the one to handle this."
"But I want to see it..." I sunk into my pillow.
She looked at me oddly.
"Why do you want to see it? There were dangerous things in there, Wonder, I... why can't you just...?"
She didn't finish her sentence.
She left the room after sitting there for a while.
I looked out at the grey sky that cried.
So it was real.
But that didn't really... make me feel much better.
I didn't know what any of it meant.
What those people were, why the sky went dark and why...
Why that message was left on my computer.
How that thing popped up on my phone.
I just wanted to go outside.
I wanted to get some matches in.
But I'm stuck inside today.
I'm not happy.
...
Why do I want to see that box again?
Why did it feel like that?
06/04/23 - How Deep Can We Go?
I've been getting better.
Damn, it almost feels like it was all overblown now. Well, kind of.
I've been out and about again. Clove requires constant updates from me now. I stopped using my phone, so I kind of have to check in myself just to tell her I'm fine. She worries too much. Maybe I could get a cheaper phone somewhere. I feel like my memory of everything is fuzzy. Typical. I've been pretty damn paranoid, even just walking around. Feel like somebody is watching me everywhere I go. I don't think I'm ready to see any of my friends yet. They've sent me some messages. I didn't respond.
They got into my phone.
How did they track my phone?
Have they been tracking it for a whole, or just now? It all seems so impossible.
I don't think I want to go back to Undertow Spillway anytime soon. But I also feel like... there has to be answers, somewhere out there. I don't know what I should do. I could tell people, but wouldn't they be in danger too? It's like knowing a super heroes identity, or something. You could get caught in collatoral. I mean, would anybody even believe me? Maybe I could... do some research. But if my phone was tapped, maybe my lptop was too. They were both in my room when it happened. And if someone broke in... yeesh, what were they even doing in MY room? I'm trying not to freak out about it.
But someone, that 'Sweet Memories' that thing asked me about. That message was signed by them. Are they some kind of person I should know? It sounds like a code name or something. I guess I could search it up real quick.
Well yeah, that about does it.
Other than a few accounts and businesses, nothing out of the ordinary. Plugging in an 'agent' just lead to a blank page.
I kept hearing noises under my bed. I reached underr, grabbing around until I felt the headpiece. I pulled it out, examining the outside. A strange headset that didn't look very comfortable to wear. It was a sleak design, but some of the parts looked cobbled together. The lenses... moved and adjusted on their own, even with no user. It made a bleeping round as it moved and retracted. I covered the lenses with my hands, looking further to see if I could find any sort of manufacturer, company name, anything. But my search was fruitless. Except for an engraving on the inside...
'CCTV ID AIM'
An ID... for 'CCTV'. Well, I thought we were getting somewhere. I searched it up too, and found... some weird stuff.
I was relieved at first. Some people local to the area had mentioned it in a few posts on forums and stuff. But this stuff was... years ago. And some of these posts are downright weird. Some were edited, and some just didn't seem right. I... couldn't be sure this was the same thing we were talking about here. Anything I could find didn't mention any specifics. There seemed to be a lot of paranoia about the cameras around the city. And by the looks of things, this was happening in more places than just here. But any time I try to delve deeper its just... dead page after dead page, dead ends and no reward. I guess if its any relief, whatever the CCTV is has been around... somewhere, at least. I mean again, could be entirely unrelated. But I know people have teams and stuff with weird names, mmaybe this is something like that?
But that doesn't explain how they did... all of that. Why everything was dark. Why they had weapons. How they made that noise in my head. I have to look deeper...Well, later I guess. I have to take some medicine now. It helps calm me down, I guess. Makes me feel a little groggy too, at times. Empty as well. Kind of like how I felt then... which honestly freaks me out more. I just hope I can get over it all soon. And maybe... get to the bottom of this. Maybe... I just want things to go back to normal.
14/04/23 - A Strange Bellowing Deep Within
Been getting better!
Clove's been around a little bit less. Guess that;s a sign that things are going back to how they were. I don't really have a lot of energy right now, but I can't stop me from thinking about it. There's so much on my mind that I haven't shared. That I NEED to share. But wouldn't that be selfish? I guess everybody needs to offload sometime. But it's not like I could tell Clove about it. She'd totally flip. I guess if it came to it, I know she'd have my back. I can't say we're exactly on the best of terms but... well, she's the best I've got. Amber would probbaly be too busy with her own work, same with Ronin. I barely see that guy as it is.
Oh yeah, I actually saw them a few days ago. Told them that I just got pretty sick and that I'll be back in action sometime soon. Honestly, I'm really hoping for it. I mean, I'm sure I could get in some battles now! I thought about it this morning, but someone wasn't too happy about the idea. Guess I should wait it out for a while. But yeah, I really want to. My stamper' sjust been... sitting there ever since. Waitin' to be used. I think it would help me feel like everythings back to normal again. But instead I'm stuck here, not even sure if what I saw was real or not. I still wanna say it was. I still do.
That crate... it had pages that I'd written when I was, what, maybe 15? A good few years ago now. I... feel like that should scare me a lot more. I mean, it does, but... if those were in there... it had to be from someone who knows me, right? Well, someone who USED to. I probably wouldn't remember anyone from back then. Yeah, on second thought, maybe that is a bad thing. Feels like something a weird stalker would do before they kill you. But I know I'm under tight security here, at least.
But y'know, maybe it would do me some good not to think about it. The police know about it, don't they? Surely that's their job to handle. I should just sit back for a while and wait until I'm my good old self again! I... I really do want to play some matches again. Things have been nice here. Weather's been getting better. The streets'll be sizzling soon enough. And I kind of... miss my friends. Haven't been in contact a lot with the whole no phone thing. Oh, actually...
This thing has been stuck in my bedside ever since. I didn't want to look at it after... that. Would turning it on even do anything? I... guess I could check.
Wow. A couple more notifications than I was expecting. And it was still there, too. That message.
SWEET MEMORIES, is that who's responsible?
Maybe it's like that ID AIM... thing, some weird dude with one of those headpieces.
If that's their name, then... collecitng my old goddamn journal pages seems pretty fitting.
Y'know, I've been thinking I should maybe... check that out again. That whole crate, I mean. I barely remember it since I blacked out. But I know there was stuff in there that I guess they wanted me to see. I think the police still got their hands on it. But I... I really want to see whats inside again. But... why that? There's so much I could do. I could make some music, try taking some pics around the city. But this is all I can think about.
I feel weird thinking about this stuff. It's like I'm meant to do this.
23/04/23 - A Plan Confusing
I did something drastic.
I told myself a while ago that I wouldn't dabble in the Crater. Place seemed a little offl imits, with how experienced some of the scrappers there were. But I... decided to do it anwyays. I thought of something stupid. Clove told me that they were probably gonna keep that crate thing for evidence, and they weren't givin' it back. And I... I don't know what came over me. A strange drive, like I haven't felt in a long time, if ever. I thoguht to myself 'I need to see it again'. It honestly kind of annoyed me how much I thought of it. So I thought... maybe this place would have some stuff I could use to modify my stuff. Which is super illegal, but I might need it if I was gonna...
Wait, what?
What am I... am I seriously gonna try to BREAK IN to steal that thing? No, no, I'm not THAT stupid, I thought.
I seriously walked all the way there without thinking about what I was thinking at all.
I wanted to make some kind of weapon to bust into a police station to try and steal some weird box? Fat chance.
I... was a little curious about the Crater, still. It cleared out a lot since last I'd seen it.
I actually ended up taking some stuff when nobody was looking.
I wanted to get out of there fast, though. I thought I caught someone watching me, from far away,
I've been pretty paranoid recently.
...Why did I think I could break into a police station?
...
Why did I want to?
...
Why was I preparing a weapon? I...
Was I gonna...
Man, I really gotta get back to actual matches! Yeesh...
01/05/23 - What I Want?
I am writing this for the sake of myself. They told me not to say a word of this to anyone. Does 'myself' count?
I really don't get it. I'm in something serious, I think. But I haven't really thought about it. I... I was away for a bit. Me and Clove went to see some professional or something. He was asking me about what I was thinking about the whole ordeal of passing out and having my home broken into. She didn't even know about what I saw before I came home. And I couldn't tell some stranger, right? That'd just be weird. So I kinda kept quiet, told her what she probably expected ot hear. In all honestly, I didn't feel that nervious about it anymore. I dunno if its my medicnie or what, but I sort of just... took it as it is. I have been acting strange lately, that's for sure. But I didn't tell her that. I didn't feel comfortable doing that.
When we got home, I threw myself onto my bed. I was real tuckered out after all that. Clove always loved putting me in random ass situations I'm never ready for. But I guess she's just tryna help. And I mean, it has been a weird few months. Wow... months? It... feels like its been a couple weeks at most. Time is so weird. But yeah, I'm chilling now. I think I might be abale to run some battles soon enough. I've already told everyone I'm ready when they are. It'll be good to get back into it! Ronin's definately got ahead of me with his Splatana skills! I have a lot of catching up to do. But for now, I'm gonna try and relax for a bit.
Well, that's what I wanted.
I checked my phone again. I'm really not sure why I kept this thing around if they had tracked it. Guess I was afraid of having to get a new one... but... it buzzed again. I felt a strange paralysis. Like how I felt the first time, when I fell. It buzzed again. And again.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?
It was one line written in capital letters. It was right before me. Again.
I... couldn't sit around. I was... I was angry?
I opened the message. It let me reply in some weird app, something I definately didn't have donwloaded. This thing looked archaic. I I went on my homescreen for a second, searched for it and everything. It wasn't there.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?
The message repeated.
I sent one back:
what do you want from me and who are you?
Nothing, for a moment.
INVALID RESPONSE.
MAYBE SOMETHING MORE FAMILIAR
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
PEACE?
OF VIOLENCE?
I had no idea how to respond.
What kind of scambot was this?
What kind of answer was this trying to get out of me?
I didn't know what to do, my hands didn't lessen their tight grip.
NO ANSWER IS AN ANSWER.
YOU ARE LIKE ME
AT A CROSSROADS
MAYBE THIS IS BEST
who are you
I WILL CONTACT YOU AGAIN.
OUTSIDE...
IS EXACTLY
WHAT
YOU WANT_
I stared at my screen for about ten minutes.
I waited for it to say something, anything.
But it never came back.
I spammed it with as many messages as I could.
I begged it to answer me.
And nothing.
I wasn't even sure if what I was seeing was real.
But it was on my screen, wasn't it?
I was seeing clearly what it was.
None of this is...
All of this is happening.
And for some reason, I was involved.
...
I stood up.
'OUTSIDE', it said. I left my room.
Clove wasn't there.
I walked slowly to the front door, feeling that same empty void welling inside.
I glanced at my phone again. Nothing.
I opened the door slowly, turning the door knob, waiting for someone to be there.
Waiting for the body of this voice to be there.
What I found instead
was a box.
What I found instead
was the box.
05/05/23 - Ronin
I think I know what to do.
It was just me and Ronin today. We decided to do some training, now that I'm back on my feet, more or less. He wasn't the type to pry, he never asked me any direct questions about anything. I liked it. He just took me as I was, and trained with me anyway. I think he's a big reason why I see Ink Sports the way I do now. I haven't seen him fight often, other than these moments. When I started out, he was this wall, I thought. He was a Splatana user too. Something to be better than. And I guess I still think that, but when I see him move, I can't help but feel like I'm seeing something special. I'd never tell him that obviously, but he would move some gracefully with that thing. Soon enough, he started telling me that I was 'better' than him. That I had surpassed him. But I've seen him improve over time, too.
Besides, that isn't even true anymore. I haven't properly fought in a long time. I got rired pretty quickly today. We stopped for some drinks. He nodded at the barista, and they served us up what we usually get, like he'd known the guy for years. There was a lot about Ronin I don't know. I don't know if I ever will. But for some reason, that makes me feel like I can trust him more? There was a point where I was just... sitting there. I wanted to tell him about what happened. About the camera people, about the dark, about the messages. About the box.
I asked him, in a jokey way at least, what he would do if someone attacked him. Threatenned him personally.
"Then I'd deal with it." He didn't look at me as he spoke.
"Would you ask for help?" I continued.
A moment.
"...No."
I guess... part of not knowing him too well is that I can't really tell if he means what he says. I've never seen him outside of these moments. This is all I've got.
But I guess if I want to be as strong as he is...
Then I should deal with it, too.
Maybe I'll be the only one...
to know that they exist?
06/05/23 - The Right Way
I've started to see this as some kinda test.
Like I'm meant to do something, one or the other.
Those messages asked 'what I want'... 'peace or violence', two options. A binary. A yes and no.
Maybe if I pick one, they'll leave me alone? That's assuming that they work with that sort of logic. Not that I really know what they want.
But these headsets, these machines... maybe the people wearing them would have that same logic.
If I give them an answer, that might be the way to get them to leave me alone for good.
I reached my hands under my bed.
I pulled out the box with a slide, making sure my door was locked. I opened it up.
It was all there, just as they had left it.
Pieces of a tool, and pages torn up and blotched all over. I reached in, grabbing each element.
White and blue plastic chunks along with metal innards to a new creation, one gifted to me through the strangest of ways.
Even this feels like an invitation. Maybe I'm stupid, but... doesn't this feel way too perfect?
I always felt this way. Like I wanted to make some kind of weapon. Something to prove myself through the art of battle.
And now I've just been handed the pieces. It HAS to be a test.
It would take a while to assemble it all... I mean, what would I even make? Something new? Something old?
I would want to... hmm. I would want to make a sword, right? But what kind? The stamper is already such an all rounder...
What would I do differently?
And why am I suddenly so calm about this?
I was freaking out about this a bunch, so why do I feel like this is the normal thing to do? Nothing about this is normal!
Is that why it feels like it is?
Why am I so hard to understand?
I don't know what to make.
But what I do know is that... I want to.
Peace and violence.
Could a weapon really be made for the purpose of peace?
...
Hah! It doesn't make any sense.
I like that idea.
10/05/23 - Sweet Memories
It's impossible.
I was stumped on it for a few days. I've been overthinking everything, and definately not getting out enough. The parts of an unfinished weapon are as they are, albeit I dont really get why they're here. But the other part of this puzzle, the pages. Dated back multiple years, when I was living in Heliocentri City. Pages that would have been impossible for anyone to locate, never mind rip out without me realising. I thought I was the one who did that, but... is this why there's so much missing? Is this why I can't remember these things? I don't know, I...
I started looking through them. They were hard to read, not only because of how they made me feel but... so much of it is gone. A lot of what was written here was definately me, but so much of it was scribbled over in pure black, leaving it impossible to be read. It made me angry. Seeing these lost pieces of my life just... covered. Covered like this and handed back to me. And all I can do is sit here alone and try to figure out what it all means. I started reading them more closely, the lines that I could read, as well as the lines I couldn't. Just trying to fill in the blanks. I looked at the dates, everything, and I sat there. For days I sat there, just trying to understand. But I noticed.
One.
One page, almost entirely blacked out.
It was dated November 1st.
The day after Halloween...
Would that have been the Halloween where we...?
I checked again.
Anything written that I could see was all about me, or where I was, what I was doing. But any subject besides that was... gone.
All of those dates, I couldn't remember them all clearly, but I thought I started to see it. Moments in time that were important to me.
That were important to...
Us
But anything that wasn't about me was...
...
Right.
Right...
So that's it, huh?
I guess I'm getting what I deserve here, aren't I?
...
It's you, isn't it?
...
So you can't listen now, is that it?
You just can't leave me alone, can you?
You.
It's...
I
I can't play these games anymore.
It wasn't clear before, this puzzle.
But now I...
Wherever you are, you will answer me.
I will wait for you to contact me.
And I will tell you how I REALLY feel.